Why Husbands Don't Go For Marriage Counseling

It is quite natural any one of you will like the falling apart and want to meet a counselor to save the marriage. The other partner might not have yet realized that there is something wrong with the marriage.  In another case your spouse has decided to walk out of the marriage. And in another situation the spouse would not like to meet a counselor to solve the crisis. 

In all the case it is a one sided situation where only one person is trying to solve the crisis.  Marriage is not an algebra equation that it should be always balanced on both sides.  On the other hand even if only one takes interest the marriage can survive. 

Men hate professional counseling: Some women complain that their husbands do not like to go to marriage counseling.  It is not that they do not want to solve the problem. But they do not want to go to counselor who is a stranger and open up all the private affairs in the married life.  Their ego is hurt when somebody tries to tell that there is something wrong with the marriage. Also, if you are a well known person in the society it will be embarrassing if somebody see you going into a marriage counselor’s office.

Men prefer to counsel with an acquaint ant:  They would like to talk about the matter with somebody whom they know.  They prefer to talk to the elder of the family who in experienced in helping solve marriage problems. They would also like to discuss the matter with the Church priest who can give spiritual guidance to solve the crisis.  This is a right decision because an elder in the family and a Church priest know your background and your family. They know you as an individual; they even know you before you got married. They do not counsel for monetary benefit, so they will spend as much as in needed to crisis.    

But a women would not want to talk to a known person because ultimately it the women who has to bear all the brunt.  They fear that if they talk to a friend or relative it will not remain a secret.  Women like to talk to professionals because they feel comfortable with them.  The counselor is a trained person who is trained to speak diplomatically with both the parties and to keep the conversation going.  They feel that that if they talk to a professional counselor it would remain confidential.  It is a common criticism about professional marriage counseling that the women only get something from the counseling sections.

Though your husband may have his own reason for not coming for counseling, it is possible to save the marriage.  You can go on you own and listen to the advices given by the counselor.  You can apply the remedies that the counselor said. If you have complete faith in the counseling and in God; follow all the assignments given by the counselor and Love your husband with all your heart. Certainly you will have positive results.  Besides when you go for counseling both of you will have to open your heart and say all that hurts your spouse has caused. He will be angered and embarrassed with your allegation and he will open his hurt box.  You will be hurt as he was hurt. This will ultimately end in heated argument.  He will not be ready to follow any suggestion given by the counselor. 

The only remedy when your husband does not come for counseling is to overwhelm him with love. So that he also reciprocates in the same way.  Then you can do all the remedies that were suggested by the counselor.