How To Fix Marriage Without Counseling

When your see your marriage falling apart the first thing you would do is to see a marriage counselor, because this is the most popular style of remedy people resort to in their marriage crisis.  But, in a research it was found that most of the marriage counseling was a failure.  Both the spouse feels hurt and painful when they talk about their private resentments in front of a stranger.  A struggling relationship can only be put back into shape if the spouses are willing to change.  If they are willing to change the changes can be brought about by other methods too:

How to fix a marriage without professional help:
Council with elders: Instead of going to stranger and sharing our private struggles, find out an elder in you family or community who loves you and wants to see you happy together.  And also the person should be able to give proper advice to put your marriage back in proper shape. You can also share your problem with the church priest, who will give counseling to you without worrying about money. 

Since they know you’re before they can advice you properly.  The strategy of a councilor is to talk neutrally, they do not take any body’s side, and their aim is to find a solution so that you remain happy. But a friend or priest talks more frankly since they know your and it leads to a healthy discourse and eventually to a successful marriage. 

Stop arguing and submit: One of the reasons for the fight is that you both keep on arguing without reaching a conclusion. Whatever major decision has to be taken you talk but cannot reach a conclusion and finally each of you take the decision according to the wish. This will also affect the monetary gain of the month.  

In such a situation you take a decision that you will not argue anymore.  On the other hand you will concede to any decision that your spouse takes.  Thus your spouse will feel a sense of acceptance and respect.  This will improve you relation. 

Find the origin of the rift in the relation:  There are five main reasons why a couple can fight over- religion, sex, children, money and in-laws.  If you sit and retrospect you will find that one of these is the reason for the rift in you life.  If it is about child care and your spouse is over burdened with the responsibility, you should agree to share the burden. When your spouse sees that you are taking so much pain to help, he or she will feel lover towards you. 

These rifts might have been caused by a hurt felt by the spouse.  When you did not help in taking care of children your spouse was hurt and the feeling remained in the heart.  Say sorry for not being able to help, other wise the hurt changes into anger.  When our loved one’s become angry it is difficult to bring them back to normalcy.  

Make an intimate relation with the spouse: Some spouse behave as if marriage vow were to be followed until the birth of a child.  In the marriage ceremony you are asked to love one another like one’s own body.  If we love and care for our body after child birth we should do the same for our spouses also. Go for an outing for a week, just the two of you and rekindle the old fire. 

Open your heart with the spouse:  During the initial days of marriage you might have spend time together discussing even the minutest thing that is stored in the mind.  But over a period of time this intimacy is lost. Some people do not share their thoughts and information thinking it is not an important think to be shared.  When somebody else gives you a piece of information about your spouse, that he or she should have told you,  you feel hurt.  So communicate with a transparent heart, make time for it everyday. 

References
www.ezinearticles.com/?Alternatives-to-Marriage-Counseling&id
www.yourmarriagehelp.com/marriagecounselingalternative
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